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The original plan for this project was put out for bid. The lowest cost bid was selected by a computer in the Bidding Department based solely on a single unifying principal of setting aside reserves on the original budget in anticipation that the bidder would over-run cost on the project.

The good news is that the computer selected a final bid that was only 58% of the original base budgeted cost. Subsequently, a second computer in the Compliance Department let the contract as being the most prudent investment available.

Unfortunately, the bid request originated from a hand written note estimating approximately 5,000 lines of code which, wnen transcribed, came out as max of 5,000 "lumps of crud". This was put through a (circa 1993) spell checker resulting in a final bid spec being let based on 4,878 elastomeric "bricks of mud". Whilst the bricks could be produced in significant volume, a third computer in the Scheduling Department arrived at a best fit solution to do all production within a 10-day period.

Given that the bricks needed 14 days to dry, the Advanced Projects Department computer countered with a solution to electroplate the wet bricks with a porous titanium skin. Unfortunately, this decision was countered by a rather obnozious little B&@(#&@ of a computer in the Transportation Department that insisted on changing the truck FOB formula to transport only 100 bricks at a time to save fuel costs given the added weight of the titanium.

Not without purpose, a computer in the Traffic Department routed the trucks on two lane back roads to accomplish two goals, firstly to keep the speed down on the trucks to comply with the fuel saving plan and secondly, to increase the transit delay time to approximately 75 days transit time to allow more drying time.

The Property Department computer promptly calculated that to have that many trucks on the road at the same time would be counter productive as well as overly costly so only contracted one driver to do the entire delivery.

The Forecasting Department computer has advised that the project time will have to be increased eight-fold but only with consequential staffing of one brick layer on Mondays of every other month.

In summary, the partially built wall of 27 bricks(with 6 spares) above represents the delivery of usable bricks thus far. We are pleased to advise you to note the fine workmanship of this project. We also can advise you that the project is on track, on time, and within budget. We have been advised by the computer in the Futures Work Scope Department that a new project is required to determine what to do with the hitherto un-finished building, and where the lines of code are for this project. We are looking into this at the moment. Thank you for your request for a breifing on this project. We will let you know when this project window opens for use. We will keep you apprised as soon as we can get the hammers out of the collection of computers managing this project!


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Content (c) 2004 et sequentia by A.G.E.H.R., Area II, Inc. (501(c)(3)
A.G.E.H.R., Area II (Area II) is a marketing and branding affiliate representing American Guild of English Handbell Ringers (AGEHR)
A.G.E.H.R., Area II (Area 2) is a marketing and branding affiliate representing Handbell Musicians of America
using a (SM) of Handbell Musicians of America, Area 2 (not a DBA).

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NOTE: As of January 20, 2014, this site has been moved to Legacy Status. The official site of Area 2 is now located HERE.